this is kind of disgusting, but very funny...
C
Put your arms around me babe,
 G
Can't you see I need you so?
   F
Hold me close against your skin,
       G*
'Cause I'm about to begin
C   Csus4 C
Lovin' you.
  C
Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace.
           G
Play with my balls and tell me how big they are.
      F
Honey rub your beaver up and down my face.
     G*					      C          Csus4 C
Now sit on the corner of the bed and watch me whack off.
    C
You see that shampoo bottle?  Now, stick it up my ass.
G
Push it in and out at a medium pace.
F
Talk about your old boyfriend's dick and how big it was.
    G*				 	  C     Am
Now shave off my pubs and punch me in the face.
F		  G			C      Em	Am
Darling, make me push my dick and balls back between my legs.
G		F
Call me an ugly woman and take my picture to show all the people
    G
you work with.
    C
Now pull up my scrotum and take that shampoo bottle out of my ass.
       G
Pretend I'm the pizza delivery guy and watch me whack off.
    F
Strap on a dildo and make me give you head.
    G*				     C
Now tell me slow down and do it at a medium pace.
    C
I feel so humiliated.  I'm about to blow my load.
      G
You tell it's time to make love but I can't 'cuz I spewed all over myself.
F		G
Then you look into my eyes, then you realize
 C             G	Am	Em
How much I enjoy loving you.  oh.
F
I'm so sorry I spunked all over my stomach.
G				  C		Am	G	C
Maybe next time I'll be better at loving you.