after nine years in the army
    they took away his brain
    they tattooed "defect" on his brow
    and signed him up again

    he killed ten thousand germans
    a hundred japanese
    a family of hindus
    and a lot of portugese
    nine plan failed

    I could never see the point
    of showing them you're boss
    when they drag you through the city streets
    and naiI you to a cross

    they took him to the office
    they strapped him to the bed
    they fastened lots of pretty wires
    securely to his head
    they wheeled him down the corridor
    upon a metal trolley
    now he wears big spectacles
    and he sings like Buddy Holly
    nine plan failed

    I could never see the point
    of showing them you're boss
    when they drag you through the city streets
    and nail you to a cross

    the world declared its armistice
    and took away his guns
    and now he satisfies himself
    on piss-weak tea and buns
    on piss-weak tea and buns
    oh oh
    at the disco
    Rome is very pretty
    and Rome is very grand
    but the Pope lost his four fingers
    when they gave this boy his hand to kiss
    when they gave this boy his hand to kiss
    it wasn't funny no

    he wasn't very good at school
    his highest grade was C
    but he believed the managers
    when they said:-
    "you leave it all to me"
    they gave him suits from Saville Row
    the quality so fine
    so now he sits in the desert wastes
    just waiting for a sign
    nine plan failed