Bigzy and Conzy are sitting in the corner
With the five bulb lamp right next to me
Three on two on five all at once
It'll light up the room in a quick hurry.
Tools of musicians are laying against the wall
They just beg to be played, beg to be played by
Three Oh Smike and the Third Floor Bite.

Above the couch there's a string of white lights
Are they Christmas lights? Indeed they are.
Head on over to the Christmas tree
With the candy canes and the red berries.
Check out S-Sponge with the Santa hat on,
He's sitting on the black chair, on the black chair
With Three Oh Smike and the Third Floor Bite!

We've got another couch but it's not really ours
We just borrowed it for a while from the common room
Over that couch is the poster of the beach that's so serene it can't even boom
On the fridge are a couple of water colors of Baileys, that's right, I said Baileys
With Three Oh Smike and the Third Floor Bite!

Smike and Snick are yelling at the tube
'Cuz both just got pwnd by a noob.
Some of you may already know Sebastian
'Cuz he got kinda big doing all that dancin'.
I'm Spoot Rutkins and I'm here to let you know,
Three Oh Smike and the Third Floor Bite
Keeps it real every day and night!