They're cookin' for the down five
 Who're starin' at Miss Rayon
 Who's busy licking up her pig-pen
 I'm searching for my mainline
 I said I couldn't hit it sideways
 I said I couldn't hit it sideways
 just like Sister Ray said

 Rosey and Miss Rayon
 They're busy waiting for her booster
 who just got back from Carolina
 said she didn't like the weather
 They're busy waiting for her Sailor
 who's dressed in pink and leather
 (alt: who said he's just as big as ever)
 He's just here from Alabama
 he wants to know a way to earn a dollar
 I'm searching for my mainer
 I said I couldn't hit it sideways
 I said I couldn't hit it sideways
 just like Sister Ray said

 Cecil's got his new piece
 He cocks and shoots it bang between three & four
 He aims it at the Sailor
 Shoots him down dead on the floor
 Aw, you shouldn't do that
 Don't you know you'll stain the carpet
 Now don't you know you'll stain the carpet
 And by the way have you got a dollar
 Oh, no man, I haven't got the time-time
 She's busy sucking on a ding-dong
 He's busy sucking on my ding-dong
 just like Sister Ray said
 I'm searching for my mainline
 I said I c-c-c-couldn't hit it sideways
 I said I c-c-c-couldn't hit it sideways
 just like Sister Ray says

 Who's that knocking
 Who's that knocking on my chamber door
 Could it be the police?
 They come and take me for a ride-ride
 But I haven't got the time-time
 She's been sucking on my ding-dong
 She's busy sucking on my ding-dong
 Just like Sister Ray said
 I'm searching for my mainline
 I couldn't hit it sideways
 I couldn't hit it sideways
 just like .... Sister Ray says