Anya: 
This is the man 
That I plan to entangle 
Isn`t he fine? 
My claim to fame 
Was to maim and to mangle 
Vengeance was mine 
But I`m out of the biz 
The name I made I`ll trade for his 
The only trouble is... 
I`ll never tell 
Xander: 
She is the one 
She`s such wonderful fun 
Such passion and grace 
Warm in the night 
When I`m right in her tight.. 
Embrace, tight embrace! 
I`ll never let her go 
The love we`ve known can only grow 
There`s just one thing that - no 
I`ll never tell 
Xander and Anya: 
`Cause there`s nothing to tell 
Anya: 
He snores 
Xander: 
She wheezes 
Anya: 
Say `housework` and he freezes 
Xander: 
She eats these skeezy cheeses 
That I can`t describe 
Anya: 
I talk 
He breezes 
Xander: 
She doesn`t know what `please` is 
Anya: 
His penis got diseases 
From a Chumash tribe 
Xander and Anya: 
The vibe gets kind of scary 
Xander: 
Like she thinks I`m ordinary 
Anya: 
Like it`s all just temporary 
Xander: 
Like her toes are kind of hairy 
Xander and Anya: 
But it`s all very well 
`Cause god knows, I`ll never tell 
Anya: 
When things get rough, he 
Just hides behind his Buffy 
Now look - he`s gettin` huffy 
`Cause he knows that I know 
Xander: 
She clings 
She`s needy 
She`s also really greedy 
She never -- 
Anya: 
His eyes are beady 
Xander: 
This is my verse! Hello? 
She -- 
(tempo changes, Anya dances) 
Anya: (spoken) 
Look at me! I`m dancin` - crazy! 
(Xander joins in - dance break continues) 
Xander and Anya: 
You know 
Xander: 
You`re quite the charmer 
Anya: 
My knight in armor 
Xander: 
You`re the cutest of the Scoobies 
With your lips as red as rubies 
And your firm yet supple.. 
Tight embrace! 
(dance break - fast then slow) 
Anya:
He`s swell 
Xander:
She`s sweller 
Anya:
He`ll always be my feller 
Xander:
That`s why I`ll never tell her 
That I`m petrified 
Anya:
I`ve read this tale 
There`s wedding, then betrayal 
I know that come the day 
I`ll want to run and hide 
Anya and Xander:
I lied 
I said it`s easy 
I`ve tried 
But there`s these fears I can`t quell 
Xander:
Is she looking
For a pot of gold? 
Anya:
Will I look good
When I`ve gotten old? 
Xander:
Will our lives become too stressful 
If I`m never that successful? 
Anya:
When I get so worn and wrinkly
That I look like David Brinkley? 
Xander: 
Am I crazy? 
Anya: 
Am I dreamin`? 
Xander: 
Am I marrying a demon? 
Xander and Anya: 
We could really raise the beam 
In makin` marriage a hell 
So thank god, I`ll never tell 
I swear that I`ll never tell 
Xander: 
My lips are sealed 
Anya: 
I take the fifth 
Xander: 
Nothin` to see 
Move it along 
Xander and Anya: 
I`ll never... 
Tell!