My heart is paralyzed, my head was oversized
I'll take the high road, like I should
You said it's meant to be, that it's not you, it's me
You're leaving now, for my own good

That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are, I'm gonna say

She went down in an airplane, fried, getting suntan
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes
She met a shark under water, tell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies and ways to say you died

My pride still feels the sting, you were my everything
Some day I'll find a love like yours (a love like yours)
She'll think I'm Superman, not super minivan
How could you leave on Yom Kippur

That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are, I'm gonna say

She was caught in a mudslide, eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes
She dried up in the desert, drown in a hot tub
Danced to death at an east side night club
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies and ways to say you died

I wanna live a thousand lives with you
I wanna be the one, you're dying to 
Love, but you don't want to

That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are, I'm gonna say
That's cool, but if my friends ask where you are, I'm gonna say

She went down in an airplane, fried, getting suntan
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes
She met a shark under water, tell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies

She was caught in a mudslide, eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes
She dried up in the desert, drown in a hot tub
Danced to death at an east side night club
Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies and ways to say you died