I can't open the door to my car anymore
But I don't care
You don't call me on the phone anymore
But I don't care
I got hit on the head with my new surfboard
And it's making me bored
'Cos I don't know, I don't care anymore

I got a littering ticket at the dump
Such a tragedy
My parents fired me for mowing my lawn
Finally
My hair gel's obsolete, my shoes don't fit on my feet
Juicy Fruit's not as sweet
'Cos I don't know, I don't care anymore

Must be a voodoo doll with my name on it
Maybe a black cat has crossed my path
But I never get sad and I never look back

'Cos no matter what I do
I just can't lose
And even if I do
I'll jump your bike
Right off of your roof
'Cos if I crash real bad
Your sister will think I'm rad
No matter, no matter what I do
I just can't lose

I stepped on a crack and
It broke my momma’s back
But she's okay
I'm a hypochondriac and
I think I had a heart attack
But I'm okay
Things are looking up
Didn't get hit by a bus
Maybe I'm starting to care
A little more than before

Must be a voodoo doll with my name on it
Maybe a black cat has crossed my path
But I never get sad and I never look back

'Cos no matter what I do
I just can't lose
And even if I do
I'll jump your bike
Right off of your roof
'Cos if I crash real bad
Your sister will think I'm rad
No matter, no matter what I do
I just can't lose

Yeah, I broke my leg but I guess that’s just my style
It's a victory because it made your mamma smile

'Cos no matter what I do
I just can't lose
And even if I do
I'll jump your bike
Right off of your roof
'Cos if I crash real bad
Your sister will think I'm rad
No matter, no matter what I do
I just can't lose

And even if I do I can always move
And even if I do
I can auction off all of your shoes